Relationship Advice
&
Keeping Love Fresh

Living during an era in which governmental statistics show that 85% of first time marriages fail may be alarming, but understandable with the many changing roles of men and women today. Everything from the de-emphasis of the family unit, through the integration of opposite sexes stepping into either traditionally male or female kept occupations, along with the ease of divorce, have added to, and consistently increased the breakdown between men and women.

Hypnotic techniques are available to clarify one’s expectations, resolve differences, and lessen unconscious conflicts with commitment and intimacy.

Some hypnotic techniques which may be used for improving personal relations are that of metaphor, homework assignments, symptom prescriptions, reframing, changing personal history, along with the simple addition of a few resources, are often useful to help build satisfying relationships, provided both partners are willing to work together through hypnotically oriented counseling.

There are many reason's as to why people break up after a time, but most are rather unfortunate, because feelings eventually change causing people to say, "we just grew apart". At time's this reasoning may be true, but most often it occurs out of our own good intentions towards each other, of which I will continue to elaborate upon.

Most of you who have explored this site, might be already familiar with anchors, if not, do take the time now to explore our page on hypnotic anchors, or life associations for lack of a better term. To be stated simply, an anchor is an association, or a trigger to a past memory, and the most incredible thing is that each and every memory, or learning we have is based upon one learning to the next; so pretty well everything either is, or becomes an anchor to something else. The good part about this is that we can create anchors, for good memories, yet anchors are created all the time, and built upon everyday in life simply by accident. All one has to do is see, or hear about, someone he or she despises approaching in order to all of a sudden go from a good mood, into a fairly bad one. Similarly, most of us have someone in our lives that bring up the most wonderful of feelings whenever we see them.

Now, when we get together with a new partner at some point in our lives, we feel good being around them, and we enjoy their company, and when we feel bad due to a hard day at the office, or a bad experience in life, we have that special person to help comfort us during our time of need. Sometimes all that person has to do is give us a hug, or a smile, and we begin to feel a little better, but unfortunately, and here is the catch, that is exactly where the couple begins to grow apart.

When we meet someone new in life, and enjoy the experience of being and sharing with them, a hug, smile, or a kiss during such times, automatically creates an anchor of good memories full of wonderful thoughts, and good feelings, which is absolutely wonderful. Then at a future time when our newly discovered loved one isn't feeling as good as we might desire, the triggering of good feelings with a hug, kiss or smile helps relieve and improve the situation. The unfortunate part though, is that all of a sudden, we also connect all of the present thoughts, memories, and bad feelings to that same anchor, lessening the original good affect it began with. Then with passing years, and more hard to handle life experiences, those good feelings often become outweighed by the associated bad feelings people accidentally stacked upon the one time good hug anchor, and although the person doesn't understand why, he or she no longer gets those good feelings when hugged or kissed by their loved one, but instead bad feelings and memories come up unconsciously. Eventually the person begins to think that his or her feelings for the other have changed due to their own changes in life. The really sad part about all this is that all to often those things about the person we have fallen in love with are still the same or even better, but as mentioned, out of good intentions, those memories have been accidentally associated with unfortunate life experiences.

So how do we protect ourselves, and our loved ones from falling into the trap of growing apart due to the association, and or nullifying of good anchors into possibly bad ones? It's a tough thing to do but easily applied once we have an understanding, but the thing is that both parties within the relationship have to be aware, and willing to do something a little different. Firstly, and most importantly, we have to physically stay away from, or simply not touch our loved one during bad times, because if we do, we will have to work twice as hard to change the anchors we create to the present bad experience. Instead we can just talk with the person, and hopefully bring up different thoughts, until the persons mood changes, or we can create certain happy anchors early in a relationship, with a touch on a specific body part for example, and only after bringing up some good feelings do we offer that most wonderful hug.

Furthermore, in order to enhance our love life, and keep it fresh, we can create our own anchors, for triggering and filling ourselves with happy thoughts of the ones we love. A simple one I have used with married couples, is to have them remove their own wedding band, then slide it back on as they remember that wonderful day, and further stack that memory with other good times, in order to increase its strength. You might like to try this, it could possibly allow you to live what might be considered the impossible, and maintain your honeymoon forever. Now if you would like more tips to keep your love life alive, you really want to have a look at our Erotic Hypnosis page, so click the link, and have a peek.

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email: dr_frank@hypnoticadvancements.com

Mailing address:
Dr. Frank Valente Ph.D.(c)
Hypnotic Advancements
3126 McCarthy Court
Mississauga , ON
Canada L4Y-3Z5

© 2004, Dr. Frank Valente Ph.D.(c)

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